I stare from down under

I stare from down under the skies I need to feel
The darkness inside me wants to get real
Soaked in bruises I cannot decide
To laugh, to cry when none beside

I stare from down under, bruises abide
Embracing darkness seeming more real
Than the distant lights that blur & despise
I stand dark, I stand with fear
Without you, I haven’t learnt to survive

I stare from down under,  love made me bleed
Fear made me weak, pain made me yield
It drove from the inside and devoured my creed
Define me define me, why I stand repealed
My cries unheard only darkness to feed 

I search from down under why you had to leave
And make me the pieces I need a life to retrieve
I‘ve lost what I am, all is empty and still
I gather the scattered & drink back the spill

I told you I won’t but you made me so
Made your love hold and strengthen my core
But when I stood tall, you let go
I stumbled; I bruised & shivered the cold

I stare from down under, the empty beholds 
It haunts my nights, the darkness I treasure
I wish some lies could please and console
That without you my life seeks pleasure
But what lies can ever make me whole

You ask for my smiles, I ask for your heed
You wish me complete while making me bleed
I stared at the empty, love could not cease
You stared away long before I was asleep

I stand inside out, have none concealed
For when it hurt, I let the pain feed 
The empty reflected, much was revealed
My love was real but I could not read
Your smiles that faded & tears unhealed

You are now of a different air

My remains of your empty stare

Are oblivious yet aware that

My heart no more dwells in you

Go dwell where now it breathes

Once nostalgic love, I set you free

Confusion personifed

I despised and devised,

and tried to dismantle

what holds inside

but delusions, diversions

were all I could find.

Guarded with mazes

front and behind

of worded expressions,

of emotions implied

were puzzles with pieces

that would never collide.

Words were familiar

but the grammar defied;

more I would question

the science behind

more I entangled

in my own device.

Flustered and ruptured,

mantled in their design

the female species

I failed to define.

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